January Funk

I'm in a funk right now. I'm completely burnt out at work and there is something going on with my blood sugars/medications. Every afternoon around 4:30 I start getting really nauseated, cold sweats and dizzy. My blood sugars are in a normal range during this time, so I know I'm not crashing. I'm just not sure what to think. Maybe my body thinks I'm crashing since my BSL were running so high last month? New meds seem to finally be working, but I'm much more sensitive to carb intake than I was. I think it will be a good thing in the end. I don't like the highs and crashes. I almost think my previous meds were working too well and letting me ignore my carb intake because they were working to stabilize my sugars.

I should be totally stoked right now. I'm going to see "Wicked" in 2 days, something I've wanted to do for years. I just get a feeling that something is going to go awry. Doom and Gloom. Never a good thing.

My circadian rhythms are really hosed right now and I think that is also playing into why I'm feeling so funky. My work schedule has been so erratic the last few months, I can't seem to get to sleep before 3 am anymore. Then I get up at 8 and try to work, but get tired and end up taking a nap. It used to be that I could take a 20 minute nap and feel fine. Now unless I get a couple of hours sleep, I'm useless. I woke up early yesterday to get Z ready for school and had a doctor's appointment at 10:45. I went back to get ready for it at 9:15ish and fell asleep. I woke up at 4. I called J to have him pick up Z, then slept again until almost 10pm. WTF? That isn't normal.

I don't know. Maybe just everything from the last couple of months is catching up with me, plus post holidays blues. I've done really good to manage my stress and keep my depression at bay for the last year. I just need to get over this hump. Maybe this weekend will help.

I'm putting together things to keep me busy and give me something to look forward to intentionally so that I don't get into a post-activity slump, but I'm not sure it's working. I need a nice long vacation and some fun. A weekend away will help, but I want something bigger. I dream of Disneyland at least 3-4 times a week. It's been over a year since we've been. I want to take Z again. Until we get the house sold and/or move, I just don' think it's going to happen though. Maybe in the fall.